I talk to so many midlife women who want to plan for what comes next and know they need to, but they just don’t know where to start.
Maybe the same is true for you?
What happens when you think about planning for the future?
Are you flooded with so many ideas that you don’t know which one to try first?
Or is it more like sitting in front of a blank screen waiting for something to load?
Either way, uncertainty about where and how to begin brainstorming your next chapter of life can leave you feeling stuck.
I’m getting really practical in today’s episode and sharing a fun and effective way I’ve found to get unstuck so you can begin launching your midlife dreams—even the ones you’re not sure of yet!
When planning for the future, many of us get stuck before we even get started.
It might happen because you have so many great ideas that you don’t know where to begin.
Or you draw a complete blank when you try to see beyond the days of hustling to keep life humming along for you and your family.
You can even get stuck when you hold on so tightly to a dream you want so badly because you’re afraid you might mess it up.
Feeling stuck in midlife can happen to anyone.
There’s just no way around it.
Thinking about what comes next can stir up both excitement and anxiety. And when they show up together, it’s a perfect recipe for deciding to wait and think about it all again tomorrow.
You need a way to get unstuck and launch your midlife dreams.
I used to tackle planning for the future with the intensity of a military campaign.
With gritted teeth, a fistful of sharpened pencils and a freshly opened 24-month calendar, I would lay out months in advance what I wanted to accomplish in every area of my life.
I’m not kidding! I was focused and determined, leaving no room for failure. It was intense!
Don’t get me wrong. I accomplished a lot. But my approach left very little room for experimenting or exploring options outside of what was carved in stone on my brain and written in ink on my calendar.
That was my first mistake.
My second mistake was believing that if I focused hard enough and made enough detailed lists and thorough action plans, my success was virtually guaranteed.
It doesn’t come as any surprise to hear that by the time I hit midlife, I’d learned that there were more things outside my control than I cared to admit.
How about you? Has your life taken some detours through unknown territory you didn’t see coming, let alone plan for?
Sometimes, the best-laid plans are subject to forces beyond your control.
So, while determination is a good thing when working toward goals, flexibility is just as important if you want to enjoy the journey.
It’s also a great help to be flexible if God has other plans and leads you down a different path.
Overly rigid planning limits your options. Overly optimistic planning fails to account for detours. Not planning at all—simply stepping back and waiting to see what happens—is risky. Because life is zipping by, and you want to make the most of your time on this planet.
What is the best approach when casting a vision for your second half?
I’ve discovered that a simple approach to brainstorming the future you want works best. You’ll find that planning your next chapter can be inspiring and even fun when you break it down into four simple steps.
Here’s what you can do starting today to discover what you want next and how to make it happen.
Step 1: Breathe.
Yep, just breathe.
The very nature of creating plans puts your focus on results. Where are you headed? How will you get there?
When you start with the end in mind, your anxious thoughts take over and ask how in the world you’ll accomplish something so bold.
You forget to relax, settle in, and learn the lessons of the path you’re on. It took me years to figure out that life is happening right now. Not in the future. Not in the past. But here and now.
Don’t let another minute go by without noticing the people and experiences happening in this very moment. It’s the only place that matters as you cast a vision for the future. It’s where you’ve got to begin.
So, take a deep breath, ground yourself in the here and now, and give thanks for the moment you find yourself in.
Step 2: Remember.
Close your eyes and picture your 10-year-old self or your 12-year-old self.
Get a good look at her. What does she love? What is she doing? What is she dreaming of?
Take time to sit with her—long enough to discover if some of those things might still be waiting in your heart, tucked away safely out of sight while you did all the things that brought you here today.
It’s time to revisit your childhood dreams, passions, and ideas and ask, “What if?”
Grab a pen and a pad of Post-it notes and start writing those dreams down.
Stick them on your mirror, a wall, or somewhere you’ll see them, and remember the audacious little girl who grew up to become the strong, smart, capable woman you are.
Nothing is too silly or off-limits. Write it down, look at it often over the next few days, and ask yourself if any version of those dreams might still be knocking around inside of you.
Step 3: Research.
Expand your list of ideas by asking the people who know and love you what they think you’re good at.
Do you have a skill or talent that people come to you for? What do they think of when they think of you?
Their answers will give you more Post-it notes to add to your mirror.
Keep them where you can see them. What jumps out at you? How can you start looking for ways to make these dreams happen?
Have you always wanted to learn how to play the piano? Find a teacher who offers adult classes. Do you love doodling and think it might be fun to take your art to the next level? Find a course for beginners and get yourself signed up. Always wanted to be a chef? A dancer? A soccer player? A comedienne?
No matter how far-fetched or seemingly impossible your little girl dreams sound to grown-up you, get yourself on Google and type in “How to start…” then fill in the blank.
Ask questions, find classes, join groups, and take chances. Remember, at this stage, no idea is off-limits.
Step 4: Rehearse.
Now it’s time to have some fun. Try a few things and do them before you think you’re good enough.
Whenever you want to learn something new, you have to rehearse the necessary skills before you master it.
So, give yourself permission to play, pretend and rehearse whatever your heart desires.
Remember that trying doesn’t have to mean a long-term commitment. It means adding to your collection of life experiences that will lead you to the next thing and then the next.
You may discover that you don’t enjoy playing the piano, but you’re singing the songs long after the lessons are over. That makes you wonder if joining the choir might be a good next step. A step you might have missed if you hadn’t rehearsed your dream of becoming a piano concerto.
Apply this to your other ideas and see where things lead.
It’s a simple blueprint for getting unstuck and igniting your midlife dreams.
Planning for the future doesn’t have to be scary or overwhelming. It can actually be fun when you take these four simple steps.
Breathe. Remember. Research. Rehearse.
As you get unstuck, you’ll begin to discover new dreams and design your very own blueprint for what comes next.
If this sounds like the plan you’ve been waiting for, but you could still use a guide to get you started, I’d love to help!
Go to my website, bloominginthemiddle.com, to find out how we can work together to discover where God wants to take you next.
Because He’s not finished with you yet. It’s your time to shine.